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  • Rhodri Jones

Writing Down Your Demons

Updated: Feb 15, 2021


Writing poetry helped me unload the clutter in my mind.

I did keep a journal for 10 years but many days I felt like I was doing it out of a sense of should rather than want.

So one day I put the lid on my pen and didn't write in it again.


Poetry felt like a more creative outlet for both the light and dark inside of me, and felt more instinctive.

Poetry can break through the conceptual part of the mind.

You feel it, rather than try to understand it and work it out.

The same can be said for lyrics in songs too.

Here is a poem I wrote when I was going through a dark episode:


Pendulum

Poised pendulum, primed to obey

Triggered by the irrationality of impulse

Repelled to the molten swelter that awaits

Rustic tears, wailing bolts

Hypnotised by it's destructive war dance

Ritually demolishes

No respite from its redundant rage

Scythes and shatters

This corroding labyrinth

Screeching into darkness

Shredding into oblivion


For years I was fearful of those days when the black fog descended into my head.

There didn't seem to be a pattern to it.

I resisted it, palmed it away, and kept it locked away from the world.

Just me alone with my demons trying to force the pendulum to stay permanently in the golden hue of the light.

Life doesn't work so smoothly if you try and force it in any direction.

The demons lay in the back of my mind, and seemed to pounce at will.

Then I decided to welcome them, and be curious about them.

What did they want from me?

They just wanted to be heard, and then their power over me weakened.

If they pass my way now and again I can smile at them.

The darkness has been my greatest gift, because without it I wouldn't appreciate the light like I do now. It's all part of the whole.

Tears of laughter and sadness pour from the same eyes.

How would you know it was sunny if it didn't rain sometimes too?

Some people resist the joy in life as well as the despair.


When we see babies they remind us of a sense of curiosity, playfulness and freedom that we sometimes lose sight of in our lives as we build up the layers and constrict our worlds

Here is a short poem I wrote:


Newborn

Hush now child as you emerge into the world

Foreboding tears of a story yet to be told

The womb's comforting cradle disperses

Beauty in life becomes fragmented and cold

Refrain from despair.

For hope remains

It exists in the squint of a smile, in the kindness of the stranger

Embrace life, shatter the cocoon that cages your dreams

Blossom, love, laugh, heed for signs of derailing danger


My favourite poet is an Englishman called David Whyte. He has a gravelly soothing voice, so to hear him read his poetry aloud is delightful. Reading his words isn't too bad an experience too.

Here is a poem of his that I feel deeply and speaks to my soul.


Sweet Darkness

When your eyes are tired,

the world is tired also.


When your vision has gone,

no part of the world can find you.


Time to go into the dark

where the night has eyes

to recognize its own


There you can be sure

you are not beyond love.


The dark will be your home tonight.


The night will give you a horizon

further than you can see.


You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.


Give up all the other worlds

except to the one to which you belong.


Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet

confinement of your aloneness

to learn

anything or anyone

that does not bring you alive


is too small for you


For years I didn't feel free in my own life.

I felt that I didn't belong somehow.

Now I have freed those chains, and shattered my own cocoon that limited my view of the world,

Bringing awareness to various places in the body, or to different patterns of thought and behaviour, is like turning on a light in a previously darkened room.

You can see clearly, and you see that the monster in the room that you were convinced was real was just a bundle of discarded clothes.

The world was made for every human to be free, in amongst all the imperfection.

Some humans hit rock bottom, and need therapy

But so many others are living in chains that they are unaware even exist, until the switch is pushed.

Then the world opens up.

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